Labels, Trans Rights & Why Kindness Shouldn’t Be Up for Debate

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Womanhood isn’t a club with a bouncer at the door—it’s a lived experience. And no one wins by keeping others out.

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Let’s talk about something that really shouldn’t be controversial: letting people define themselves.

Imagine waking up one day and being told, “Nope, you’re not who you say you are. We’ve decided that for you.” No matter what you feel, no matter how you live—your identity is suddenly up for debate.

Sounds ridiculous, right? But that’s exactly what happens when people argue over whether trans women are “real” women. It’s not about discussion—it’s about control. And history has already shown us why that’s a dangerous road to go down.

When Labels Become Weapons

Forcing labels on people against their will isn’t just frustrating—it’s dangerous. Throughout history, people have been denied the right to define themselves based on race, gender, or social status.

Take women fighting for the right to work and vote. For centuries, they were labeled as “too emotional” or “too weak” to handle power. Those labels weren’t just opinions—they were used to deny rights and limit opportunities.

It’s the same pattern today with trans people. When society insists on defining them against their will, it’s not just a debate. It’s a way of controlling who gets to exist freely.

Trans Women Aren’t the Problem. Period.

Let’s be real—who is actually oppressing women?

• Is it trans women? No.

• Are trans women the ones making laws that restrict bodily autonomy? No.

• Are trans women benefiting from centuries of patriarchy? Still no.

The people taking away women’s rights? Cisgender men in power. Not trans women.

So why is all this energy spent fighting the wrong people?

Trans women are not the ones upholding oppressive systems. In fact, they’re often victims of the same structures feminists have been fighting against for generations. Yet instead of solidarity, they get targeted. And for what? Existing?

Let’s drop the fear-mongering and focus on reality.

Kindness Costs Nothing, Exclusion Hurts Everyone

I get it—change is uncomfortable. Some people feel like including trans women somehow takes something away from cis women. But does it really?

Recognizing trans people doesn’t erase or diminish anyone else. It simply acknowledges that identity is complex, and lived experience matters.

More importantly, who actually benefits from dividing women into “real” and “not real”?

Because it sure isn’t women.

This kind of exclusion only strengthens the systems that have always worked against women—trans and cis alike. And if feminism isn’t about breaking down those systems for everyone, then what’s the point?

Choose Humanity

At the end of the day, the world doesn’t need more gatekeeping. It needs more empathy. More people willing to say, “I might not fully understand your experience, but I respect you.”

That’s it. That’s the bare minimum.

Because history has shown what happens when we start deciding who “belongs” and who doesn’t. And it’s not a path we should ever walk again.

So let’s stop debating people’s right to exist. Let’s choose kindness. Let’s choose humanity.

And if that’s too much to ask—maybe the problem isn’t with trans people.

Signed with love,

A cis woman in solidarity