The Science of Accusation: A Witch Hunter’s Playbook

Congratulations, new recruit.

You have been chosen to protect the world from darkness. The Devil lurks among us, and his servants hide in plain sight. They look like ordinary people—wives, widows, healers, midwives, neighbors. But do not be deceived. Evil always leaves traces.

Your duty is clear. You must find them. Accuse them. Cleanse the land.

To aid you in your righteous work, we have compiled the only guide you will ever need. Study it well. Hesitation allows the Devil to spread.

Step One: Learn to Recognize a Witch

The untrained eye may struggle to identify Satan’s followers. This is why so many good men fail to act in time. But you, new recruit, must sharpen your instincts. Witches reveal themselves in countless ways.

If you are unsure whether someone is a witch, consider the following:

• Does she live alone? This is unnatural. Witches thrive in solitude, where they can speak to the Devil without interference.

• Is she too social? Suspicious. A spellcaster must cultivate followers.

• Is she too young? She is being groomed for the Devil’s work.

• Is she too old? She has clearly been serving Satan for decades.

• Does she heal the sick? Unnatural. God alone decides who lives and who perishes.

• Did she refuse to help the sick? Heartless. The Devil makes his servants cruel.

• Does she own a cat? Obvious. A familiar in plain sight.

• Does she avoid animals? Why would any normal woman fear God’s creatures?

• Has she been unlucky? Cursed women often bring misfortune upon themselves.

• Has she been too lucky? The Devil rewards his own.

As you can see, no one is safe from suspicion. But suspicion is the first step to truth. Your task is not to hesitate. It is to act.

Step Two: Collecting Evidence

A skilled witch hunter knows that proof is everywhere if you know where to look. A single incident is rarely enough, but accusations should always be thorough. The following categories will help you build an airtight case.

Witness Testimonies

Never underestimate the power of what others have seen or heard. Witches do not operate in secret. Their work leaves traces in the minds of good, God-fearing people.

• “I saw her talking to herself.” This could have been prayer, but more likely, she was speaking to the Devil.

• “She stood by my well, and my son fell ill the next day.” Coincidence is a lie spread by those who would protect evil.

• “She looked at me strangely, and I felt weak for hours.” The Devil’s power works through sight.

No witness testimony is too small. Fear will fill in the gaps.

Agricultural Misfortunes

The Devil’s servants work to weaken communities, and the easiest way to do this is through the land.

• If crops die unexpectedly, it is because of witchcraft.

• If livestock stop producing, it is because of a curse.

• If a cow suddenly goes dry, it is not the fault of the farmer. The witch has taken the milk for her potions.

It is common for witches to tamper with wells and streams, poisoning the water. If sickness spreads through a household, always consider who walked past their door the day before.

Weather Patterns

Nature belongs to God. A woman who dares to influence the skies is attempting to usurp His authority.

• If the rain does not come, she has stolen the clouds.

• If the rain comes too much, she has called the storm.

• If the winds are stronger than usual, she has whispered to them.

• If the sun is too hot, she is punishing the town.

A good witch hunter does not need to understand the weather. He simply needs to understand guilt.

Physical Signs

The Devil always leaves his mark on his followers. These can be found with proper examination.

• Birthmarks, moles, and scars are clear signs of an unholy contract.

• If a woman has no visible mark, she has hidden it with magic.

• If a needle is inserted into the skin and no blood appears, the spot is dead—proof that Satan has laid claim to her body.

Remember, it is not your job to seek innocence. It is your job to find guilt.

Step Three: The Interrogation

Once the suspect is in custody, it is time to extract the truth. A witch will deny her crimes at first, but she will break under the weight of righteousness. You must apply pressure wisely.

The Rack

A device designed to stretch the body, pulling limbs beyond their natural limits. If the accused survives, it is only by unnatural strength—proof of Satan’s protection.

The Strappado

The accused is suspended by her arms, bound behind her back. Dislocated shoulders often loosen the tongue.

The Thumbscrews

Tightened gradually, they will reduce fingers to pulp. A witch may hold out for some time, but eventually, even the Devil’s magic gives way to pain.

The Water Trial

The most effective method of all. The accused is tied and cast into the river.

• If she floats, she is guilty. The water has rejected her.

• If she sinks and drowns, she was innocent. God has taken her soul.

A true witch will never confess on her own. The Devil tells them to lie. It is your job to force the truth from her lips.

Step Four: The Naming of Others

Witches rarely work alone. Once the accused has confessed, you must extract the names of her accomplices.

If she refuses to name others, this does not mean she is innocent. It means she is even more dangerous than you feared.

Press harder. The Devil is strong, but your faith must be stronger.

Step Five: The Cleansing Fire

Once guilt has been established, there is only one righteous punishment. Fire purifies all things.

Acceptable Methods of Execution:

• Burning at the stake. The most effective method. A witch cannot work her spells once her tongue has been burned away.

• Hanging. Swift but lacks the power of fire.

• Pressing. Heavy stones placed upon the body will crush the lies from her mouth.

• Drowning. If she dies, God will take her. If she does not, she was guilty.

No matter the method, justice must be served. The town must see that righteousness prevails.

Final Words to the Witch Hunter

Never let doubt stop you.Never ask if the accusations make sense.Never hesitate.

There will always be more witches to find.

Because without them, who else would we blame?

And so the fire must burn.

The fire must be fed.

And when the next name is spoken, it will be written in ink.

Once written, it cannot be unwritten.

Once spoken, it cannot be unheard.

And if the fire must take someone, better her than you.

This is how easy it was. A glance, a whisper, a bad harvest—anyone could be accused, and once a name was spoken, there was no escaping the fire. This is not a guide to follow, but a history to remember. Because the worst thing we could do is forget how quickly fear turns into justice.

This has been brought to you by a woman who, for her way of thinking, would have been tied to a stake before she even finished writing this sentence.

Stay safe. Stay a HumanKind.